Seasons of Learning Part 1

So I mentioned in last week's post that since I buried this blog in 2012, I have taken up the mantle of homeschooling the boys. In 2015, Eli was in 3rd grade, and came home from school in tears more times that I care to count because of the high-pressure testing culture that was becoming the norm in Georgia...3rd grade, y'all. He would get his little nine-year-old self so wound up over "benchmarks" and "milestones" that the only way he could decompress was to melt into a puddle of tears when I picked him up in the afternoons. It was heartbreaking. This sweet, wiggly little boy, who already struggled in math but worked so hard at everything his teachers asked him to do...his spirit was being crushed, and I saw the spark of a love of learning diminish each time he "failed" one of those stupid tests.

And as a teacher? Well, there were rumblings of my pay being tied to my students' performance on high-stakes tests. Which I can appreciate being measured and compensated based on my performance as a teacher, but the tests wouldn't necessarily count for or against the students in any way, shape, or form. So basically my livelihood might depend on whether or not a student chose to take the test seriously or "Christmas tree" the whole thing. Let's face it, teenagers aren't dumb.  They would have figured out if the test didn't count for them, and most of them wouldn't put any effort into something that they knew wasn't real. Now, I don't know if Georgia ever went that route or not, so I'm not saying this is what actually happened. All I know is that the question of how the tests would count for students was floating around in 2015 when I closed my classroom door for the last time.

Now, I'm not against public education at all; society as a whole benefits from an educated public. Kids can still receive a good education in public school if their parents are involved in their academic lives...from my experience, this is normally the number one indicator of academic success.  And many homeschooling families (my family included) are just one lost job away from needing to put the public school system to use. But I am so thankful for the season God has put us in.  Jason and I had been contemplating homeschooling for a year or so.  And I thought we had settled on me teaching one more year (2015-16), so we could pay off some debt. But God...Isn't that just the way He is?  But God...He had other plans.

While out to dinner for our 11th anniversary, Jason told me that I should go ahead and tell my principal that I would not be coming back for the next school year. So all within a month's time, I had broken my contract with the school system, withdrawn the boys from school, spent a small fortune on Amazon for all the books and curriculum I thought I'd need, and raided the library for as many library books on Ancient civilizations as I could possibly find.  We were going to go the classical education route (more on that in another post later), and we were starting from the very beginning (of recorded history).

Among many other things, we studied ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome, math, and classifications of living things. We played with magnets and compasses, did nature walks and artist studies, memorized poetry, learned cursive, joined a co-op for P.E. classes, and read books on top of books from children's versions of the Iliad and Odyssey to Little House to A Christmas Carol. My goal for the first year of our homeschooling adventure was to help the boys love school again (which I find sad to say since they were only in 2nd and 4th grades). Look how little they were!

Who doesn't love reading in a box?

The haul from the library.

Inspired by Van Gogh's "Sunflowers"

Doing a unit on birds. Drawing what they saw and finding out names, habitats, and sounds.

We were also able to pack school up and take it to North Carolina in early September. We stayed at my parents' house for a few days while Jason interviewed for a job in Oak Ridge, Tn. and did school in their RV (that was a lot of fun!). The week we were there, my Mammaw passed away, and we got to be there to hold her hand and say our goodbyes. I have the sweetest video of Eli reading Little House in the Big Woods to her; his sweet little voice reading those words to the woman who had actually lived that kind of life...churned her own butter, scalded her own hog, given her own children oranges and peppermint candy for Christmas. That week I realized for the first time why God had brought us to homeschooling in the first place.  Sure, I can give my boys a wonderful, living education and the personal attention they need, but more importantly was the time we were granted.  Time to be present for all of the important moments we would otherwise have missed.  That lesson would be driven home time and time again over the next three and a half years.

Excavating the Relic

This is what we look like now.  Taller (them), older (me).  My how things have changed.

It has been nearly 7 years since this blog has seen the light of day. Why? I couldn't quite tell you. In that time, the boys have gone from 7 and almost 5 to 14 and almost 12. Teenager. I have a teenager in my home now, y'all. And one more following fast on his heels. In 2015, I quit teaching at Perry (let's say I decided that public education and I have irreconcilable differences) and have started homeschooling these goobers. We're starting our fifth year of this messy, miraculous madness of homeschooling. I've learned as much as the boys have...what people call "redeeming" my education. And I'm redeeming my time with the boys. I love the time I've gotten with them as a result of this surrendering to God's design for our family at this time in our lives.

We moved. Since 2016, we're no longer suffering below the gnat line in Middle Georgia. Now we live in Oak Ridge, Tennessee right outside of Knoxville. We moved for Jason's career and never looked back. Jason is killing it at work, and the boys and I have found our tribe in a Classical Conversations community.

We became foster parents to a sweet little girl named Abby. She spent a gloriously messy 9 months with us, and we loved her big. She was reunited with her mom in September 2018, and though we knew that was the desired outcome, we were devastated when she left us. But God has a way of restoring all things. He put that family back together, and He continues to put our hearts back together each day, too.

This move also got us closer to my parents in North Carolina...which looking back on the last three years has been the whole purpose of God in all of the changes in our lives since I buried this blog in 2012. In 2017, my sweet mother was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. For two years, the boys and I were able pick up and go at a moment's notice to be with Momma. We experienced the totality of a solar eclipse with her, we went to the beach twice with her, we celebrated each time she finished a round of chemo. And on April 28, 2019, we held her hand as Jesus called her home. All thanks to homeschool and a closer address.  The thread of God's faithfulness is fully apparent in our lives.

So where do I go from here? We shall see. Maybe I'll pick back up on my 1,000 gifts counting.  Maybe I'll share a bit of what I've learned during my time homeschooling. Maybe I'll share favorite recipes and writer's workshop prompts.  More than likely it will be simply my musings on this vapor they call life.  This lovely flower quickly fading, but filled with such beauty because of its brevity.

Joy Dare-3 Gifts Full (#57-59)

A Full Life

Bursting at the seams-full of noise and movement and Lego's and kisses and sword fights and Sunday School art and laundry and Bible verses and prayers and...

Oh Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee.
I give Thee back the life I owe,
That in Thy oceans depths its flow
May richer fuller be.


...at times weariness.

But in spite of my daily struggle to keep up with all that I have to do as a wife, mother, teacher, God manages to show me His abundance.

57.  A pool full of water to splash and play on a lovely June evening.

58.  An iPhone full of songs that fills my home with worship and "dance parties."

59.  A lap full of praying boys.

...and a bonus...

60.  A flower bed full of these beauties...that remind me of my mother...

"Old Maids"

Did some writing with my kiddos in class today...

Here is what I got on paper...

"Mother and the Baby"

You can never have too much baby.  You can fall asleep and wake up to realize that you've fallen in love all over again, and a baby can save your faith when you think hope is lost.  In this world there is too much anger and not enough baby.  Dimples and grins are too few and so are chubby toes and most things that are beautiful.

Mother, who is weary, who sometimes wishes for a peaceful evening of rest, realized something in the wee hours of the morning.  Mother, who longs for a quiet bath or a chance to sit with a cup of coffee and a book, this morning breathed in that intoxicating scent of a new baby-the spell of heaven. 

She turns to face her husband in bed, the new baby nuzzling her skin, and says come smell this. He looks at her funny, and she says I'm serious.  He slides closer and puts his nose into the baby's fine, blond hair.  Do you smell that?  Do you know what that is?  That's  a second chance.  A second chance?  the husband asked.  A second chance, the mother said, and made it that simple.

Multitudes on Monday 18-21

18.  Shopping for school supplies.  I always loved this as a kid.  A new lunchbox with a thermos.  A new box of crayons.  These little purple and pink pencils with the individual lead cartridges (they smelled like grapes and strawberries)

 Now I'm getting to take Elijah shopping for school supplies.  He is so excited to start first grade.  I love seeing these moments through the eyes of my own children. 

19.  A weekend visit to my grandmother's house in North Carolina.  I'm so thankful to have been able to grow up visting these mountains during the summer, and now I'm thankful to have been able to take my own children to visit this place that is so vivid in my memory.

20.  A few date nights with my husband before school starts.  Momma and Daddy have the boys, so we don't have to pay daycare for them this week.  God bless my parents...they are the BEST grandparents in the world.  I know how exhausting my two kids can be...read the post called "War Zone" for a picture of what a day with my kids looks like.  It is quite an adventure.  I sure do miss those little boogers when they're not with me.

21.  A new school year.  It makes me sad to see the summer come to an end; all that time with the boys now behind me until next year.  But I am excited to see what God has in store for this new school year.  Having lunch at the Swanson with all of the ladies was the perfect way to start the school year.  Now I just pray that I can get everything done before next Monday.  And I pray for a blessing on this new year.  New students.  Clean slates.  Lord, use me in the lives of my students.  Help me to be a blessing in the lives of the people I come across every day.  Be glorified in my classroom, Father.  Allow it to be a place of peace in the lives of my students.  Help me impart wisdom to these young ones that you are trusting me with. 

I'm feeling a bit misty-eyed today...

Here's why...

Where are you going, little one, my little one...

7/17/2005...my sick little boy

Going home...8/5/2005

Where are you going, baby, my own...

On oxygen...

Finally off oxygen...

Turn around, and you're one...

Happy 1st birthday!

Turn around, and you're four...

1st day of Pre-K

Turn around, you're a young man going out of the door.

My big 6 year old man...

Happy 6th birthday to my precious Elijah.  "I'll love you forever.  I'll like you for always.  As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

Love,
Momma

Twenty years gone and back again...

Ok...so unlike Odysseus, I haven't been gone for twenty years.  I did, however, go off a-roaming for a while.  My little family spent a week in the mountains of Tennessee "camping."  I use quotation marks because our "camping" trip was spent in my parents RV with beds, a refridgerator, stove, and most importantly...AC!  So while we weren't without some luxuries, we did go for a week without the things that so distract us in our modern world.  No cable television.  No internet.  We did take a few movies with us to fill the time between the boys bath and their bedtime.  But aside from those movies, we spent our time busy as a family with trips to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge, days at the campground pool and waterslide, by the creek and trout pond, s'mores and coffee by the campfire.  When the day came for us to leave, Elijah, my oldest, cried.  And it sort of made my heart hurt.  Made me long for days spent tossing rocks into the creek and making simple memories with these boys.  That week did my heart good for a few reasons...

Look at God showing off...

Brothers actually loving each other

We got to do things like this...

...and this...

We got back from our trip just in time to celebrate America's birthday with some friends.  And then one week later, Jason and I celebrated 7 years of marriage.  July 10, 2004, Jason and I made the committment to love, honor, and cherish each other for as long as we both shall live.  And it's been 7 good years...blessed years.

Be patient while my heart skips a beat!  Oh how I love this man...

This past Saturday, we celebrated Elijah's 6th birthday.  He won't be 6 until July 17...but our friend Mindy and her kids are leaving for Texas that weekend (leaving Shawn behind...we'll feed you Shawn!), so we decided to have the party a week early so they could be there.  I'm going to do a whole post on Elijah and his birth story on Sunday.  I'll finish today with my "Thankful Thursday" # 6-10.

6.  America!  To quote Lee Greenwood...I'm proud to be an American.  Thank You, Father, that you blessed me by letting me be a part of this great nation.  Lord, I pray for this country.  Turn the hearts of the people back to you.  Hold off your judgment.  Stay your hand just a bit longer.  I'm praying for revival.  Send your Holy Spirit fire, Lord God.  Let us stand with Israel.  Let us live within our means.  Let us learn the value of hard work and simple faith once again.  I beg of You, Father, start with me.

7.  My parents...I love you Momma and Daddy.  Thank you for everything you do for us. 

8.  Reconciliation...with people here on earth and with the Heavenly Father through the blood of Jesus Christ.

9.Friends...Shawn and Mindy, Ian and Owen.  I'm so thankful that God brought this family into our lives.  We are truly blessed to know them and to love them!

10. Time away from the bustle of my crazy life. Time away from the computer, television, running here and there. Time to witness God's handiwork. Time to see that boys really do love each other (even if they don't act like it most days). Time to fill them up with sugar because there hasn't been time for a nap.  7 years of time that have gone by in a blink, but 7 years of time that have been blessed beyond my wildest dreams.  Simply...time. Precious Lord, may the time be long...amen.

The beginnings of our "Thankful Stars"

My new cookbook...

Is my new favorite cookbook for two reasons...

1.  It was written by the Mennonite women from Montezuma...the Yoders.  And has recipies in it such as Colorado Peach Pie, (which I made today with fresh peaches from Lane, and it is divine) Amish Friendship Cake, and cough syrup.

2.  It has this poem
"My God, I sit beneath Thee,
My little child upon my knee,
My little one looks up to me,
And I look up to Thee."

As I flipped through this cookbook this afternoon looking at all of the wonderful recipies that I can't wait to make for my family,the only page I marked was the page on which this poem appeared...no cake, casserole, or cookie.  That poem caught my attention.  And as I crawled into bed next to each of my precious boys tonight, I was extra careful to drink in their smell.  Snuggle them extra tight.  And simply pray that these boys know how much I love them.  I also whispered a prayer to God that memories of nights like tonight would be enough to last a lifetime.

My God, you have given me these children as an inheritance.  As they climb up in my lap every day, as I gather them close, may I remember that I should be in your lap every day as well.  Father, as they look to me, may they see You in me.  May they see You changing me.

Thankful Thursday

3.  I am thankful for this idea from Ann Voskamp.  On her blog, A Holy Experience, Ann posted an article titled "How to {help} raise grateful kids."  In it, she talks about how every day she has her children write on a flower shaped sticky note one thing they are thankful for.  She then hangs them on her window in her "garden of gratefulness."  So I am totally swiping the idea...I bought some star sticky notes and we are going to "count our blessings that outnumber the stars in the sky."  We're starting tonight.  I'll post pictures of it later.  I also bought some thank you notes, so we can start thinking of the people in our lives we should be grateful to.  Watch out!  You may get a thank you note from the Cooks at some point :)  Look at the cute flower pen Elijah made at VBS today :)

4.  RAIN!!  It's coming a decent little shower here right now. 

5.  I'm praising God for these sweet baby blues that greeted me after naptime.  He crawled up in my lap to snuggle while he woke up.  There's nothing in the world like little boy lovin'!