Seasons of Learning Part 1

So I mentioned in last week's post that since I buried this blog in 2012, I have taken up the mantle of homeschooling the boys. In 2015, Eli was in 3rd grade, and came home from school in tears more times that I care to count because of the high-pressure testing culture that was becoming the norm in Georgia...3rd grade, y'all. He would get his little nine-year-old self so wound up over "benchmarks" and "milestones" that the only way he could decompress was to melt into a puddle of tears when I picked him up in the afternoons. It was heartbreaking. This sweet, wiggly little boy, who already struggled in math but worked so hard at everything his teachers asked him to do...his spirit was being crushed, and I saw the spark of a love of learning diminish each time he "failed" one of those stupid tests.

And as a teacher? Well, there were rumblings of my pay being tied to my students' performance on high-stakes tests. Which I can appreciate being measured and compensated based on my performance as a teacher, but the tests wouldn't necessarily count for or against the students in any way, shape, or form. So basically my livelihood might depend on whether or not a student chose to take the test seriously or "Christmas tree" the whole thing. Let's face it, teenagers aren't dumb.  They would have figured out if the test didn't count for them, and most of them wouldn't put any effort into something that they knew wasn't real. Now, I don't know if Georgia ever went that route or not, so I'm not saying this is what actually happened. All I know is that the question of how the tests would count for students was floating around in 2015 when I closed my classroom door for the last time.

Now, I'm not against public education at all; society as a whole benefits from an educated public. Kids can still receive a good education in public school if their parents are involved in their academic lives...from my experience, this is normally the number one indicator of academic success.  And many homeschooling families (my family included) are just one lost job away from needing to put the public school system to use. But I am so thankful for the season God has put us in.  Jason and I had been contemplating homeschooling for a year or so.  And I thought we had settled on me teaching one more year (2015-16), so we could pay off some debt. But God...Isn't that just the way He is?  But God...He had other plans.

While out to dinner for our 11th anniversary, Jason told me that I should go ahead and tell my principal that I would not be coming back for the next school year. So all within a month's time, I had broken my contract with the school system, withdrawn the boys from school, spent a small fortune on Amazon for all the books and curriculum I thought I'd need, and raided the library for as many library books on Ancient civilizations as I could possibly find.  We were going to go the classical education route (more on that in another post later), and we were starting from the very beginning (of recorded history).

Among many other things, we studied ancient Egypt, Greece, and Rome, math, and classifications of living things. We played with magnets and compasses, did nature walks and artist studies, memorized poetry, learned cursive, joined a co-op for P.E. classes, and read books on top of books from children's versions of the Iliad and Odyssey to Little House to A Christmas Carol. My goal for the first year of our homeschooling adventure was to help the boys love school again (which I find sad to say since they were only in 2nd and 4th grades). Look how little they were!

Who doesn't love reading in a box?

The haul from the library.

Inspired by Van Gogh's "Sunflowers"

Doing a unit on birds. Drawing what they saw and finding out names, habitats, and sounds.

We were also able to pack school up and take it to North Carolina in early September. We stayed at my parents' house for a few days while Jason interviewed for a job in Oak Ridge, Tn. and did school in their RV (that was a lot of fun!). The week we were there, my Mammaw passed away, and we got to be there to hold her hand and say our goodbyes. I have the sweetest video of Eli reading Little House in the Big Woods to her; his sweet little voice reading those words to the woman who had actually lived that kind of life...churned her own butter, scalded her own hog, given her own children oranges and peppermint candy for Christmas. That week I realized for the first time why God had brought us to homeschooling in the first place.  Sure, I can give my boys a wonderful, living education and the personal attention they need, but more importantly was the time we were granted.  Time to be present for all of the important moments we would otherwise have missed.  That lesson would be driven home time and time again over the next three and a half years.

Excavating the Relic

This is what we look like now.  Taller (them), older (me).  My how things have changed.

It has been nearly 7 years since this blog has seen the light of day. Why? I couldn't quite tell you. In that time, the boys have gone from 7 and almost 5 to 14 and almost 12. Teenager. I have a teenager in my home now, y'all. And one more following fast on his heels. In 2015, I quit teaching at Perry (let's say I decided that public education and I have irreconcilable differences) and have started homeschooling these goobers. We're starting our fifth year of this messy, miraculous madness of homeschooling. I've learned as much as the boys have...what people call "redeeming" my education. And I'm redeeming my time with the boys. I love the time I've gotten with them as a result of this surrendering to God's design for our family at this time in our lives.

We moved. Since 2016, we're no longer suffering below the gnat line in Middle Georgia. Now we live in Oak Ridge, Tennessee right outside of Knoxville. We moved for Jason's career and never looked back. Jason is killing it at work, and the boys and I have found our tribe in a Classical Conversations community.

We became foster parents to a sweet little girl named Abby. She spent a gloriously messy 9 months with us, and we loved her big. She was reunited with her mom in September 2018, and though we knew that was the desired outcome, we were devastated when she left us. But God has a way of restoring all things. He put that family back together, and He continues to put our hearts back together each day, too.

This move also got us closer to my parents in North Carolina...which looking back on the last three years has been the whole purpose of God in all of the changes in our lives since I buried this blog in 2012. In 2017, my sweet mother was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. For two years, the boys and I were able pick up and go at a moment's notice to be with Momma. We experienced the totality of a solar eclipse with her, we went to the beach twice with her, we celebrated each time she finished a round of chemo. And on April 28, 2019, we held her hand as Jesus called her home. All thanks to homeschool and a closer address.  The thread of God's faithfulness is fully apparent in our lives.

So where do I go from here? We shall see. Maybe I'll pick back up on my 1,000 gifts counting.  Maybe I'll share a bit of what I've learned during my time homeschooling. Maybe I'll share favorite recipes and writer's workshop prompts.  More than likely it will be simply my musings on this vapor they call life.  This lovely flower quickly fading, but filled with such beauty because of its brevity.

Joy Dare-3 Gifts Full (#57-59)

A Full Life

Bursting at the seams-full of noise and movement and Lego's and kisses and sword fights and Sunday School art and laundry and Bible verses and prayers and...

Oh Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee.
I give Thee back the life I owe,
That in Thy oceans depths its flow
May richer fuller be.


...at times weariness.

But in spite of my daily struggle to keep up with all that I have to do as a wife, mother, teacher, God manages to show me His abundance.

57.  A pool full of water to splash and play on a lovely June evening.

58.  An iPhone full of songs that fills my home with worship and "dance parties."

59.  A lap full of praying boys.

...and a bonus...

60.  A flower bed full of these beauties...that remind me of my mother...

"Old Maids"

Multitudes on Monday #27-35

"Oh that my words were written!  Oh that they were inscribed in a book!  That with an iron stylus and lead they were engraved in the rock forever!  As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives and at the last He will take his stand on the earth.  Even after my skin is destroyed, yet from my flesh I shall see God..." Job 19: 23-26

27.  The promise of eternal life with God.  Father, thank You, for overcoming the grave, that I may say with Job that, yes indeed, my Redeemer lives.  And because He lives, I too can live...here on earth and in Heaven with my Jesus. 

"And then one day, I'll cross that river.  I'll fight life's final war with pain.  And then as death gives way to victory, I'll see the light of Glory, and I'll know He lives.  Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.  Because He lives, all fear is gone.  Because I know, He holds my future, and life is worth the living just because He lives."

Someone sang this song at my Pap Paw's funeral in 1995.  And I remember...although it was one of the saddest days of my then 16 years... I remember that song making me happy.  In the midst of my sorrow, the words of this old hymn brought me peace.  I think I now understand the song a little better, now that I've doubled my age.  Because of Christ's sacrifice, we are able to rest securely in His arms in our present and our future.  That song clearly says He holds that future, but life (the here and now) is worth the living because of that sacrifice of Christ.  I stand amazed all over again at the power of the cross...and of the Resurrection.  We can't leave Jesus on the cross or in the grave.  Without the Resurrection, the grave is as far as we would go...but HE LIVES!  And so can we...

And everything seems so trivial after that, but I do have more to thank God for today...

28.  Cooler weather.  We sure did bake this summer in Middle Georgia, and I'm glad to have some 78 degree weather.  The boys (big and small) have been enjoying it, too.  In general, I just love this time of year.  October through December just make me happy.  It's not simply because of the holidays that we celebrate...not the way we celebrate them anyway.  We skip through Thanksgiving just to get to Christmas, when the one thing that most of us could stand is a little less 'stuff' and a little more gratitude.  That's not why I love this time of year.  It's sort of the idea of retreating into my home with my guys and welcoming in those we love.  It's the cooking I get to do because it is my way of showing people that they are important to me.  It's the smell of oranges and cinnamon and apples and cloves bubbling away on my stove.  It's the warmth inside and the chill outside.  The sharp smell of little boys who have just come in from playing in the cool air. 

29.  Thankful for a week off to enjoy the lovely weather.  It's our Fall Break!  And though we're staying close to home, we've got lots to do.  We're going to visit Grandmomma and Granddaddy tomorrow and Wednesday.  We'll hit the fair this weekend, I'm sure.  The boys and I are going to paint some tiny wooden airplanes...I don't really know why; they found them at Walmart for a dollar a piece; I had the paint and brushes...there just wasn't a very good reason to say no.  I may even get some pansies and mums and get some pots going by the front door.  Or maybe something like this...

30.  Jason and I have decided to host a Halloween party this year.  It's our first time to host a real party where I'm getting to decorate and just kind of go all out for it.  A silly thing to be thankful for, but I'm so excited to be hosting it!

31.  A new down comforter that let Jason and I sleep with the windows open last night.  It was glorious! 

32.  A husband who did every.  single.  piece.  of.  laundry.  I'm serious...I did not touch laundry this weekend, because I have the best husband ever...period.

33.  A new book waiting for me on my Kindle.  Charles Frazier's new book Nightwoods.

34.  I am thankful for the blessing of counting these gifts.  That I am able to look past my circumstances (which aren't all that bad to begin with) and thank God for what he has poured out in my life.  I will not let people (at the hands of the devil) steal my joy.  I want to spend my time praising God for his blessings, not harboring anger and bitterness in my heart. 

35.  Where I'm From (With respect to George Ella Lyon)

I am from front porches
from porch swings and creek banks
I am from maple trees and mountain breeze.
(cool--napping at midday in the summer
     heat)

I am from white half runners and "better boys"
the old barns
whose smells I remember
as if they were they were as fresh as a new baby.

I'm from chocolate balls and homemade dills
     from Doris and Rondal U.S.
I'm from sneaking out at nap time
     with Pap Paw for an ice cream
     at the country store.
I'm from unknown languages and
     Victory in Jesus
Mam Maw's strong soprano in the choir

I'm from George and Neva's land
     Day-old biscuts and black coffee
From the leg my grandfather lost
     in the War.
From the scar on Daddy's foot from
     the pitchfork

In my closet--quilts and afghans
an old cow bell--remnants of by-gone days
when the world seemed simpler.
I am from the warmth of these moments
The distant flicker of
lightning bugs in the night.

Multitudes on Monday 18-21

18.  Shopping for school supplies.  I always loved this as a kid.  A new lunchbox with a thermos.  A new box of crayons.  These little purple and pink pencils with the individual lead cartridges (they smelled like grapes and strawberries)

 Now I'm getting to take Elijah shopping for school supplies.  He is so excited to start first grade.  I love seeing these moments through the eyes of my own children. 

19.  A weekend visit to my grandmother's house in North Carolina.  I'm so thankful to have been able to grow up visting these mountains during the summer, and now I'm thankful to have been able to take my own children to visit this place that is so vivid in my memory.

20.  A few date nights with my husband before school starts.  Momma and Daddy have the boys, so we don't have to pay daycare for them this week.  God bless my parents...they are the BEST grandparents in the world.  I know how exhausting my two kids can be...read the post called "War Zone" for a picture of what a day with my kids looks like.  It is quite an adventure.  I sure do miss those little boogers when they're not with me.

21.  A new school year.  It makes me sad to see the summer come to an end; all that time with the boys now behind me until next year.  But I am excited to see what God has in store for this new school year.  Having lunch at the Swanson with all of the ladies was the perfect way to start the school year.  Now I just pray that I can get everything done before next Monday.  And I pray for a blessing on this new year.  New students.  Clean slates.  Lord, use me in the lives of my students.  Help me to be a blessing in the lives of the people I come across every day.  Be glorified in my classroom, Father.  Allow it to be a place of peace in the lives of my students.  Help me impart wisdom to these young ones that you are trusting me with.